Wednesday 19th Feb, 2008

zzzzzzz......
well...havent been posting lately...kinda busy like hell....
and guess wad..
im a 11th grader now...
bullshyt right?
i went to ask something today and they told me...ur a 11th grade now...
if i never go ask something...i wont know wad grade i am hor..==...
well...kinda happy larh...
but..kinda stressed this few weeks....
its like...dun feel like chatting anymore...
wanna be alone or sumthing..emo arh?(no idea)
well...im a junior le..
gonna have my TAKS test...texas sumthing sumthing test....zzzz...in march
arhhhh....and for us government....its like...im gonna die soon le..
everyday in that lesson...we're assigned to read and stuff....after reading a few pages...eyes wanna close le...maybe im sleep deprived..(lack of sleep)...
havent been sleeping well these days...maybe coz of the coffee or sumthing...
today morning..around 3....tummy ache..couldnt sleep until 4 sumthing..maybe it was the food yesterday night or sumthing....haiz..
dunno larh...stress larh...x.x....
english research paper....due next wednesday...2 major grades...x.x..if i mess this up...im gonna kill myself.....my mom wants me to get at least 80 n above...
i think im gonna die soon le...x.x...STRESS ARHHHHHHH....
everyday...drink like..3 cups of coffee...x.x..still feel sleepy in skool...
maybe i should consider taking coffee to skool from now on..so i dont fall asleep..
im REALLY work very hard alrdy...but...there's a few subject that i cant concentrate....us government n us history..zzz....having headache until head wanna bao le....
well....my current goal is to A's all my subjects....but i think it wont happen ...
maybe A's + B's ba...x.x
Its like, when you work hard for something and you don't get what you want...its really stressing...

Feeling like I am in an ocean of doubt and despair, gradually sinking and gasping for air.

Knowing life is not a light switch you can flip on and off....zzzz

You cry... you feel sad... you get "help"... but its still there... only now you hide it... you want everyone to believe it is ok... but its not, i'm not ok- its a rollercoaster of emotions, you slowly start to feel better and then all of a sudden you crash again... then it starts all over....